Inconsistency isn't what you think it is.
What happens when you don’t show up for the workout?
What happens when you eat like shit?
What happens when you don’t do all that you said you’d do?
What happens when you don't show up for what you want?
Inconsistency. Inconsistency is what happens.
I’ve been exploring inconsistency quite a bit over the last few months. What I've come to see is that beneath the inconsistency lies a very consistent through line. Beneath inconsistency is a solid base of not feeling good enough for our destiny of greatness. This feeling of not being good enough shapes our mental beliefs and self perceptions. These beliefs and perceptions then shape our behavioral patterns to support the limited self views. And when we find ourselves stuck in these patterns, often for decades, we feel like someone else is acting on our behalf, but we don't know how to fire them. And this confusion is the birthplace of inconsistency.
Exploring deeper, I realized the key to correcting inconsistent behavior and getting out of the decade long patterns we loathe:
Inconsistencies are not personality traits, they are habits. And habits can be changed with the proper attention and energy.
Our mind is a funny thing. Rather than just seeing inconsisteny as us wavering like a tree in the wind, our mind makes it out to be the end of the world. Instead of a habit, it tells us it's a fatal character flaw. I’ve learned, however, that when we see inconsistencies as indicators of where we need to do the work to root deeper so that no amount of wind can uproot us, when use them as guide posts for where we need more support to cultivate new habits and behavior patterns, and then follow through in seeking these things, inconsistencies become our greatest gifts & tools.
By far one of the biggest struggles in my own life is going full on, and then getting tired, showing up on and off, and then eventually burning myself out to the point of no return. AKA HABITUAL INCONSISTENCY. All of it is driven by fear. Fear that if I take my time and go at a steady pace toward my dreams, I’ll miss them because I was too slow. Fear that if I take a break, I’ll never be able to go back. When in fact, it's the opposite. And fear that I wont be able to handle all that I want when it comes, so acting in ways that ensures I don't get it.
In recent exploration of these habits of teeter tottering, it became evident to me that all of it could be prevented by setting myself up for success within the failure. If I nurture those areas in my life where I know my tendencies toward inconsistency occur by padding them with proper support, the habit of inconsistency disappears.
Just like learning anything in life, until it’s second nature, you need someone by your side catching all of your lapses. You learn to drive with someone in the car until you consistently follow the traffic laws and rules and feel comfortable. You have a mentor on a new job until you’ve got a feel for the tasks and daily responsibilities. When you become a new parent, you ask for advice and call your support team every other minute until you feel comfortable with your new little being of light.
When utilized with a sense of responsibility and purpose, inconsistency becomes the gateway toward stepping even further into the lives, bodies, and confidence we’ve dreamed of. And there is not a more empowering moment than that when you realize you've suddenly become the consistent person you always dreamed of being.
When I don’t show up for all I said I would, I cop out and give my faith to my fears. I tell the person I long to be that I don’t love her enough to fight for her. I tell her that chocolate bars & Friends re-runs are more important than the bold, courageous, and beautiful life we both dream of. The one where we don’t wake up regretting the late night binge, but instead wake up feeling light and free and ready to start the day. The one where over caffeinated brain fog is replaced by sustained drive and inspiration.
The life where I am no longer stuck in sweats mourning my own inadequacies, but standing in the sweaty bliss of putting in the proper work to get to where I set out to go.
The sweats & chocolate life only happens when I’m going it alone. Or when I distance myself from the people, places, and programs that nurture me in a way where I don’t cop out. It’s always harder to say I haven’t done something when someone is holding me accountable. More often than not I’ll do something just because the perfectionist in me doesn't want to have to report back that I didn’t. Eventually this turns into an inner drive that can’t be stopped, and I am no longer inconsistent in the area I've been supported in.
Our greatness becomes a part of the fabric of who we are when we choose to use our inconsistent patterns for our best interests.
Inconsistency is also a way that our fear based mind slowly collects evidence to support its ruthless crusade to prove to you that you will never get where you want to go & that you’re not worthy of your greatness. We’re all human, and we’ve all got a lot on our plate. I will say it over and over and over, mostly to remind myself, we’re here to be human, not perfect. And to be human means there will be constant inconsistency. But my wish for you is that each day you will know:
You have the stamina, the knowledge, the resources, and the support you need to courageously step into your destiny.
And I want to help you figure out, right now, how you can support and pad your own inconsistencies so they can be woven into the fabric of your greatness. To recap:
Inconsistency is a sign that you need more support.
+ I invite you right now to pull out a pen and paper and write down a list of all the places where you’ve got inconsistent tendencies.
For example, when I'm doing well in my work, a really funny thing starts to happen:
I stop meditating (my sanity)
I stop working out
I start eating, constantly
I stare blankly at my computer
I cry because I feel like I’ll never be good enough
And I start to sabotage my own success with the scattered brain and low energy levels that result in the above listed behaviors. So, for me, I need to employ consistency in my physical health & well being right now. As it is the gateway into my career success. They’re all related!
+ Then, I want you to find one resource, accountability partner, coach, friend, mentor, whatever makes the most sense for you to hold yourself accountable to showing up in the way you want to show up in these areas.
If it’s your body, check out the free 3-day membership The Body Project offers.
If it’s your your mindset & confidence & self worth, touch base with me right here about the programs I offer.
As my favorite book, A Course In Miracles, states:
Fear is a sure sign you're relying on your own strength.
Stop relying on yourself and step into the support that surrounds you. You are worthy of a life free of fears, limitations, and discomfort.
All my love,